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Thursday, June 18, 2009

When It Comes Time

Today was a stressful day. In short, a coworker came to work after his 3 daughters were diagnosed with type A influenza, likely the swine flu. He stayed at work ALL DAY LONG. I was a nervous ball of doody all day, afraid to store my milks in the communal fridge, scared to leave my office, afraid to kiss Ian hello this afternoon when I saw him.

So where do I turn when I need support? The La Leche League Mother-to-Mother forums. They are the best resource for any nursing mother to vent, get advice, and help out others in need. We all share similar philosophies about various topics: breastfeeding, diapering, co-sleeping, and discipline.

Now everyone's got an opinion or two (or three) about corporal punishment. Mine can be summed up in four simple words: "Absolutely not, no, never."

That said, it's nice to come across a quote from an expert in parenting that backs your philosophy. This one by psychologist Penelope Leach stopped me dead in my tracks:

"Children are the only people in this society anybody is allowed to hit. All the rest of us are legally protected."

When it comes time to punish Ian, I hope for the courage and patience never to raise a hand to him. Teach him, model good behavior, withhold things, insist on high standards? Absolutely. But physical pain? Never, no, and absolutely not.

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Moment of Truth, Part I: Once, I was so frustrated with Ian and soooooo tired. He was wailing and I could not calm him down. I placed him roughly onto the couch to take a breather and it freaked him out. His head banged up against a notebook corner. I don't think he was hurt physically, but he was scared. He turned beet red and could not even catch his breath to cry. I was devasted. This is as close to hurting my child as I ever want to get. It's embarassing to even remember it.

Moment of Truth, Part II: When I get upset with Ian and raise my voice, he thinks it's hilarious. I say angrily, "Stop it Ian!" and he just looks at me and smiles real big. That's my boy. What a diplomat, just like his dad.

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